![]() ![]() It's not all bad though, as Sylvia agrees to bang our hero if he makes it all the way to the coveted rank of #1 in the UAA, which is more than enough incentive for him. Once he starts working his way up the ranks of assassins, he inadvertently becomes a target himself, with no choice but to continue killing. After buying a beam katana at an online auction site, he takes a job from the sexy Sylvia Christel of the United Assassins Association. You play as Travis Touchdown, a 20-something horn-dog with a love of Japanese anime, giant robots, Lucha libre wrestling, and (one can only assume) video games. This has director Suda 51's signature all over it, but is thankfully much easier to get into compared to his last assassin-themed game, Killer 7. And like any good action movie that doesn't take itself too seriously the dialogue is peppered with profanity. Sexual overtones seep into just about every aspect of the game, from the hilarious titles of overdue porno rentals left on your answering machine to the way you jerk your light sabre to recharge it. It's a comic-book inspired kill-fest splattered with ridiculous geysers of blood streaming from the enemies you decapitate or cut in half. No More Heroes is one of the few M-rated titles on the Nintendo Wii, and with good reason. Something deeper, somethng deeper then my instincts is taunting me! Can't find the exit. Like it's trying to suck the life out of me! I need to get rid of it, before I bail. I can't see anything! There's this sense of doom running down my spine like it's. Gotta find that exit, to Paradise! But I can't see it. But what else CAN I do but keep going? Maybe I should've been a little more careful before I jumped in. I realize there's really nothing here for me. And for the old killers? They'll croak anyway. Every day full of exitement and luxury, that'd be the life! Everything in its right place, it's the perfect life, it's the life of winners! That'll be my life! I thirst for selflessness, hypocrites lusting for their own desire to get killed by young rookies like me! This is how it goes down. On the weekends, ten babes knocking on my door every two hours. Maids and loyal servants at my beck and call. Mega bucks, big-ass house, fast cars, dining in style with a world class chef and a trusted nutritionist counting every calorie! A team of hot Yoga instructors to keep me in shape. I feel as if I'm looking at my future self. ![]()
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